Compensate Me, Baby!

Today I am wondering why I am stuck in two days of training for a software application I am probably never going to use.

Oh!--- because I work in Corporate America. Duh…

It’s a weird thing to navigate, really. A large corporation. Such a strange sub-culture. None of us would be here if we didn’t feel that we need money. As far as corporations go, mine is considered (by various magazine rating systems) to be one of the better ones at which to spend the hours between 8:30 and 5. That is due to a number of factors all adding up to what is called in corp-speak your “Total Compensation Package.” Health benefits, 401k, vacation, average salary, etc. Depending on the particular slant of the magazine, it may include how many minorities are in management or the percentage of female worker bees.

And let me tell you, my Total Compensation Package is the only thing keeping me here. My Total Compensation Package does not, unfortunately, fit my Total Personal Requirements for Fulfillment. Not even close. How in the Head Alien’s Universe did I get here, anyway? I was peacefully minding my own business one day when I sort of fell into this job and, uh, stayed. For six years.

The trouble is, I keep having this nagging feeling that there is something else I should be doing that is more important. Like killing zombies and saving the world from evil dictators or catching up on my sleep or something. I can’t quite put my finger on it. You know, I used to want to be an exorcist or a demon hunter when I grew up. Since I have not achieved that goal, I am going to assume that I simply haven’t grown up yet. Yes, I think that version of reality will do nicely. Maybe when I get home tonight I will start working on the demon-hunting thing. I bet the first thing I will need is tools. I wonder what kind of tools I should have. This could take some research.